My Head is Spinning on my Shoulders

I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for this wedding to happen. It is a strange comfort to me that whatever I should do or not do, the day will come and go like every other. It doesn't keep me, of course, from trying to do everything, but I can see at least the futility of my sleeplessness and loss of appetite. Two pounds seems paltry over the course of the month, but given the usual unflinchingly solid state of my body, I cannot help but be surprised.

M put his arms around me today as I carelessly unbuttoned his shirt once he was home from work. Jacuzzis were mentioned, and for a moment we were a week and three days ahead of ourselves, instead of a week and two.

Despite everything that remains to be done, which seems just enough to keep me busy, waiting will be the most trying task.